Back-to-school season is a time filled with excitement, anticipation, and more than a little anxiety for kids and parents alike. As the summer winds down and we prepare for the new school year, Jewish families face unique transitions, balancing both academic and religious obligations. For kids who are starting or returning to Hebrew school, there are two separate back-to-school transitions to adjust to. Then, once kids have begun to settle back into school schedules, they face additional routine disruptions in the form of the Jewish High Holidays.
But don’t worry, because today we’ve got a backpack full of tips from the experts on Gateways’ staff – drawing from their experience as Jewish special educators, mental health providers, and parents themselves – to make the return to school smoother and more enjoyable for everyone. Whether you have neurodivergent family members, young children, or are simply looking for some back-to-school wisdom, keep reading because we’ve got you covered!
1. Set clear expectations and build manageable routines.
Many of us experience heightened levels of anxiety when faced with unpredictable situations or sudden changes. Establishing routines and setting clear expectations with kids can mitigate this anxiety by providing a familiar framework, reducing the likelihood of meltdowns and challenging behaviors. When expectations are consistently reinforced through routines, kids are more likely to have a smooth transition.
Ali Shwartz, Mental Health Specialist: At the beginning of the school year, we ask our kids what they need when they get home from school and explain what we, as parents, need from them. This includes expectations around behavior, food, bedtime, and more, as well as visual checklists.
Brian Coonley, Director of Professional Development and Consultation: For educators, set-up your routines for teaching, prepping and personal times now. Follow them from the start of the year and it will make sticking to them easier.
2. Make a checklist and/or a visual schedule.
One great way to build routine into your family’s day is to make a checklist or schedule. Include both secular and Jewish educational activities to help your child transition smoothly between home and school or between secular and Hebrew school. Having this step-by-step breakdown not only helps kids feel prepared, but it also improves focus and encourages the development of independence and self-control.
Additionally, incorporating visuals into the checklist (in the form of photos, stickers, or illustrations, for example) will engage pre-readers or children with reading challenges and provide a framework for all kids to communicate their needs and preferences within the established routine. You can integrate Jewish observance by including pictures of your child wearing a kippah or lighting Shabbat candles to reinforce the importance of those traditions. Having a tangible, physical reminder of their routine with supporting visuals helps kids stay on task, take ownership of their actions, and gradually build skills and confidence.
Sharon Goldstein, Director of Day School Programs: In our house we have a white board calendar that has the activities, meetings, and social things written on it. Each family member has a different color so you can look any time and see what is coming up.
Tip! Download Gateways’ Shabbat ritual visual here. You can use it as is, make it into a checklist, and/or replace the photos with cut-and-pasted photos of your own child doing each of these rituals.
3. Use social stories.
Social stories depict upcoming events or routines to allow the reader to picture themselves in a new setting or process a change. Using concrete, first-person language and visual cues, these narratives can help your child understand what to expect during the many new and different routines and activities that come with the back-to-school season, whether they’re starting a new class, returning to tefillot (prayer services) after a summer off, or hearing the loud noise of the shofar.
Tali Cohen-Carrus, Senior Director of Programs: We love to use social stories to ease transitions, both in the Gateways Jewish Education Programs and in my own family with my toddler. A simple story describing what the new setting and routines will look like, including photographs of the classroom, teachers, etc., helps students know what to expect, which reduces anxiety and allows the child to process the transition in advance.
Tip! Create your own High Holiday social stories on Gateways’ website or using this app.
4. Encourage open communication and emotional check-ins.
Back-to-school can stir up heightened emotions including excitement and anxiety. Encouraging open communication within your family allows children to express their feelings and concerns about returning to school. Regular emotional check-ins, where you create a safe space for your kids to talk about their day or share their worries, can be incredibly beneficial. This practice not only helps you address any emerging issues early on but also fosters emotional resilience and trust within the family. Let your kids know it’s okay to feel nervous or overwhelmed and that you are there to support them through it.
Tip! Check in with your kids or students in Hebrew using this mood poster resource from the iCenter, which has the Hebrew words for a variety of emotions, accompanied by a transliteration, English translation, and visual for each one.
5. Involve kids in meal planning and preparation.
Bringing your kids into the kitchen to involve them in meal planning and preparation can be a fun and educational way to ease some of the stress that comes with returning to school. Let your children help choose and prepare their lunches and snacks for the week; kids are more likely to eat healthy foods they’ve had a hand in selecting. This practice will reinforce the importance of good nutrition and foster a healthy relationship with food as a source of nourishment and fuel for learning at school. Moreover, food is a great way to connect children of all ages to their Jewish identity and preparing Jewish and Israeli-style meals and snacks together will not only bond them with the family, but also with their traditions and heritage.
Ali: For picky eaters or food-anxious kids, it’s helpful to plan dinners with the kids on Sundays so that everyone knows what we will be eating for the week. That way, the kids are more invested in and present at meals, and we’re less likely to get into last-minute arguments about what we’re eating. For snacks after school, we discuss beforehand what snacks they can take: e.g., one from the snack drawer and one from the fridge.
Tip! Looking for a tasty Jewish recipe to try with your family? Try this honey and olive oil challah.
6. Prepare the night before when possible…
In the evening, get as much ready for the day for you and your kids as you can. It seems obvious, but laying out clothes, getting lunches mostly packed, etc., makes for calmer mornings and an easier start to the day. And, on the days when that just doesn’t happen for your family, take a breath and try to stay regulated even when the morning feels chaotic. Your energy will rub off on your child.
Tali: In my family we try to embrace the chaos and focus on coregulation, as with two kids ages 1.5 and 3.5, even with advanced planning, sometimes chaotic mornings are unavoidable!
Amy Schulman, Director of Development: Part of our evening routine includes preparing as much as possible for the next morning. We know that mornings often get rushed, so we try to have our kids pick out their clothes and snacks, and even help make their own lunches, at night.
7. …But don’t forget to make time to relax!
When everyone arrives home from school, it can be tempting to focus immediately on all the things that need to happen before bedtime. However, building in some intentional relaxation and decompression time is an important strategy to minimize anxiety and prevent burnout. Taking moments to clear our minds helps kids and adults stay in the moment and reduces worry about the future.
Tip! Read your favorite Jewish story and discuss the connections to your family’s Jewish values and identity or get outside for a walk in nature. This practice is especially meaningful during the month of Elul as we prepare for the High Holidays, offering an opportunity for introspection and growth.