B'nei Mitzvah Academy Program

When I found out about Gateways, it was as if we hit the jackpot. I’m not sure how Sam would have reached this milestone if it wasn’t for everyone at Gateways. All I knew is that I was adamant about making their b’nei mitzvah happen, because why should Sam have to miss out just because he has autism?

Dina B’nei Mitzvah Program Parent

She had dreamed of having a bat mitzvah, and she did. She showed us all that with time and support, anything really is possible, regardless of having a disability. I am grateful to Gateways for all they taught [our daughter] and for helping to instill a strong Jewish identity.

Allyson B’nei Mitzvah Program Parent

When parents trust the educational process of Gateways and remain open minded to crafting a service which honors both the child and the bat mitzvah service together, magical things can happen.

Michelle and RonaldB’nei Mitzvah Program Parents

Discover: Gateways B’nei Mitzvah Program

About the Program
Mid-Week Tutoring and T'fillah
Stories and Articles
Enrollment and Financial Information
B'nei Mitzvah Resources
Class Calendar
Frequently Asked Questions
Photos

About the Program

With the proper support, every Jewish child can celebrate a bar or bat mitzvah.

The Gateways B’nei Mitzvah Program is designed to make the b’nei mitzvah milestone possible and meaningful for each student and family, no matter their needs. Our non-denominational program provides students with the one-on-one tutoring, individualized programming, repetition, and practice they need in order to feel confident and successful.

Our two-year program is designed for students ages 11–14, and includes weekly 1:1 tutoring sessions, group classroom activities, and t’fillot (prayer) services. Our experienced special education teachers customize Hebrew, prayer, and Torah instruction for each child and plan lessons that teach specific b’nei mitzvah and synagogue skills.

We Work with You

Gateways coordinates with families and synagogues to ensure that the b’nei mitzvah process is seamless. For families who want their milestone to be celebrated in a synagogue, Gateways collaborates with both parents and clergy to create a plan for preparation, rehearsal, and the day of. We also help families explore other b’nei mitzvah options such as finding unaffiliated clergy, celebrating at Gateways, and more.

Our Three Goals for Our Students:

Build skills
Develop Jewish knowledge
Create community

The students in this class form a cohort: they build friendships, celebrate each other’s achievements, and dance at each other’s b’nei mitzvah.

Explore: A Typical Day at Gateways' B'nei Mitzvah Program

Tutoring: Students arrive, and their tutor and program staff greet them. They each settle into a quiet space with their tutor for 45 minutes of one-on-one tutoring. Each student has an individualized plan: Some learn how to decode Hebrew, others read sight words, some use technology to recite prayers, and some students learn information or skills that align with their interests and individual b’nei mitzvah goals. Gateways carefully matches each student with a tutor who has a passion for Jewish education and whom we have trained to work with students with diverse learning needs. Our tutors come from a variety of backgrounds, and have included rabbinical students, psychologists, businesspeople, teachers, librarians, retirees, and more.

T’fillot (Prayers): Following tutoring, students participate in a class prayer service to practice their skills. Each student has the opportunity to either lead prayers or to engage in other honors, such as carrying the Torah or opening the ark. A visual schedule at the front of the room lists all of the prayers in our service and shows which students will be leading each prayer, so students know exactly what to expect. Students also learn about expected behavior during a prayer service, and are supported as they learn how to sit quietly, use focus tools, and respect their peers as well as the sacred space. Throughout the service, students celebrate each other’s progress and achievements and build a stronger sense of community.

Class Time: After t’fillot, the group comes together for a lesson that builds their knowledge about the meaning of Judaism and of becoming Bar or Bat Mitzvah. The unique two-year curriculum touches on everything from the physical space of a synagogue to challenging questions of who G-d is and why we pray. We explore these topics through a combination of group activities, discussions, PowerPoint presentations, art projects, and other interactive approaches. Our goal is for students to complete the program with a better understanding of the basics of Judaism and of their personal connection to their Jewish heritage.

Explore: B'nei Mitzvah Program Curriculum

Hebrew Reading Program: Gateways utilizes a systematic, multi-sensory approach to teach Hebrew reading. Instructors give students visual cues and mnemonic devices that enable them to decode and, gradually, read text with fluency. Students presenting with a wide range of abilities and needs have experienced great success with this structured, one-on-one, interactive teaching model. Read More

T’fillot Curriculum – During t’fillot, students to come together to practice their new skills as part of a community. Every student is given a job, such as chanting Torah, leading the class in prayer, or opening the ark. The repetition of the prayer service each week, combined with the supportive atmosphere, enables students to participate and lead confidently in preparation for their b’nei mitzvah.

Judaic Curriculum – Designed to be taught in a group setting, the Judaic curriculum brings meaning to the experience students have during tutoring and t’fillot. Students are introduced to an array of topics including understanding the importance of becoming a responsible Jewish adult and of celebrating the bar/bat mitzvah milestone with their community. Through games, presentations and group work, they address questions related to G-d, prayer, mitzvot (good deeds), synagogue, Torah and Jewish history.

In-person programming takes place at the JCC of Greater Boston at 33 Nahanton Street, Newton, MA. If you live outside of this area, contact us for remote tutoring options.

Mid-Week Tutoring and T’fillah

For students interested in individualized tutoring, either to supplement their participation in the Gateways Sunday B’nei Mitzvah Academy or another congregational school program, or as a stand-alone experience, we now offer mid-week tutoring and group t’fillah (prayer). With this new, flexible option, we are hoping to serve more students who would benefit from our specialized model while simultaneously continuing to attend programming at their home synagogues. The hybrid program, available for students attending remotely and in-person, provides students with the one-on-one tutoring, repetition, and practice they need in order to feel confident and successful.

Check out Our Video!

Stories and Articles

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Fall Enrollment Open!

Enrollment for Fall 2023 in Gateways’ Jewish Education Programs is…

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Our 89th B’nei Mitzvah

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Isabella’s Bat Mitzvah: A Mother’s Reflections

By Cara Coller As I sat down to write this,…

Our Spectrum

I have twin 14-year-old sons, Sam and Jack. Jack’s development…

Ashley posing at the Torah for her bat mitzvah

Reflections on a Special Bat Mitzvah

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Making the Dream of a Jewish Coming-of-Age Possible

Over the years, I have had countless conversations with cautious…

A Bat Mitzvah Journey – a Tutor’s Perspective

“Amen”. Temana chanted beautifully, after reciting with confidence the blessings…

We All Lead. We All Follow.

My son, Holden, has been learning at Gateways since we…

Enrollment and Financial Information

Forms, instructions, and financial information for enrolling both new and returning students in one of Gateways’ Jewish Education Programs.

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student and volunteer smiling looking at binder

B’nei Mitzvah Resources

Find resources to support you in your accessible b’nei mitzvah journey, whether you’re a parent, a clergy member, a synagogue administrator, or a student. We’re here for you.

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Girl learning with her Bat Mitzvah tutor

Class Calendar

Click on the image to view our 2022-2023 class calendar.

Image of the Jewish education programs' Sunday calendar for 2022-2023

Frequently Asked Questions

About B’nei Mitzvah in General:

Can my child have a bar/bat mitzvah?

Yes! With the proper support, all Jewish children, regardless of ability, can receive their birthright of a Jewish education and find their place as full adult members of the Jewish community.

My child can’t participate in a typical service. What can we do?

Gateways can work with you and your synagogue to either adapt your synagogue’s typical service to allow your child to participate meaningfully or build a new service around your child’s needs. Some common ways of making services more accessible for children who have difficulty participating include shortening the service, incorporating additional music, and creating opportunities for them to move around and take breaks.

My child is nonverbal. How can they participate in a service?

There are several meaningful ways that children who are not able to speak can recite prayers and participate in services. Some students may learn to recite prayers using sign language, while others lead prayers using dedicated electronic communication devices or communication apps on a smartphone or tablet. Students who are non-verbal can also actively participate in parts of the service that do not require speech, such as opening and closing the ark, carrying the Torah, and dressing and undressing the Torah.

Do we have to have a bar/bat mitzvah when my child is 13 years old?

No. Although 12 or 13 is the minimum age at which one can become bar/bat mitzvah, there is no upper limit. Many children who have learning challenges choose to have their bar/bat mitzvah at an age later than 13 to allow additional time for learning and to ensure that the experience will be a meaningful one.

My child uses an electronic AAC device. Will there be a problem with having a bar/bat mitzvah on Shabbat?

Most scholars allow people who are non-verbal to use electronic AAC devices in order to communicate. In the rare cases when a synagogue would not allow the use of an electronic AAC device on Shabbat, the bar/bat mitzvah can be scheduled for a Rosh Chodesh (the celebration for a new month), or on a Monday or Thursday, when the Torah will be read and there is no restriction on the use of electronics. This article provides a detailed discussion of the issues involved.

My child uses an electronic wheelchair. Will there be a problem with having a bar/bat mitzvah on Shabbat?

Although most liberal synagogues allow people to use electronic wheelchairs in order to participate in services, for more observant Jews, the use of an electric wheelchair on Shabbat can be problematic. This article provides a detailed discussion of the issues involved. In cases when electronic wheelchairs are not permitted in synagogues on Shabbat, a person can use or be pushed in a manual wheelchair. A bar/bat mitzvah can also be scheduled for a Rosh Chodesh (the celebration for a new month), or on a Monday or Thursday, when the Torah will be read and there is no restriction on the use of electronics.

I’m not receiving the support I want from my synagogue. What can I do?

If you are not receiving the support you feel you need from your synagogue, contact Gateways. We can coordinate with your family and your synagogue’s team in order to create and implement a road map to a successful b’nei mitzvah experience. We are experienced at guiding clergy and other educators through the process of working with children with disabilities and their families.

What can we do at home to help prepare my child for bar/bat mitzvah?

Bringing your child to services will go a long way toward helping them become familiar with the prayers and comfortable in the space in which they will have their bar/bat mitzvah. If attending services regularly is not possible, watching videos of Shabbat services online can also be useful. Many synagogues livestream their services or post videos of their services on YouTube. If your child enjoys music, find recordings of different prayers online or ask your clergy if they might be able to provide you with recordings. Use these to create a playlist for your child, and routinely listen to it in the car or before bedtime.

I don’t live in the Boston area. Can you still help me?

Gateways offers consultation services to families and synagogues who would like guidance as they prepare young adults with disabilities for b’nei mitzvah. An experienced educator can provide both ideas and materials for creating a meaningful educational experience and milestone event. Contact us to learn how we can address your needs.

How far in advance should we begin preparing for b’nei mitzvah?

We recommend that students begin preparing for b’nei mitzvah at least two years in advance. This allows students ample time to learn at a comfortable pace and feel confident about their mastery of the material.

About the Gateways B’nei Mitzvah Program:

When should my child begin in the Gateways B’nei Mitzvah Program?

The Gateways B’nei Mitzvah Program is a two-year program. We recommend that students enroll two years before their anticipated bar/bat mitzvah date.

What kinds of disabilities and learning needs do your students have?

Gateways provides programming to students with a wide range of disabilities and learning challenges. Students may have social-emotional, cognitive, or communication challenges as well as physical disabilities.

Do you accept new students mid-year?

We will accept a student mid-year, provided that we have space in the class and an appropriate tutor available.

How large is the B’nei Mitzvah class? What is the student-to-staff ratio?

Each student has a tutor who provides them 1:1 instruction and attention. Additionally, the tutor, the Gateways B’nei Mitzvah Specialist, a behavioral specialist, and/or the Director of Gateways’ Jewish Education programs are also on site.

Will my child learn how to read Hebrew for their b’nei mitzvah?

Gateways has successfully used a special method to teach students with a wide range of abilities how to decode Hebrew. We have even taught Hebrew to students who have not yet learned how to read English! This method, similar to Orton-Gillingham, helps students to learn the sounds of each letter and vowel using a system of mnemonic tricks and visual cues.

Although many of our students learn how to decode Hebrew, there are also some who do not. Students who use a sight-word program to learn how to read English often struggle to make the switch to a decoding program, and our Hebrew program is not recommended for these students. Other students and their families have different priorities and prefer to spend time preparing for b’nei mitzvah by learning about other topics.

If my child doesn’t learn Hebrew, what will they be doing during tutoring?

We have a variety of alternate paths and curricula for our students. Some students learn how to read prayers using symbols and sight words. Others learn how to use electronic communication devices to lead prayers. And others work on practical skills such as dressing or undressing a Torah, putting on a tallit, or setting up a Friday night Shabbat table.

Some students come to us with a particular area of interest on which they would like to focus, such as Jewish history, art, literature, or law. In these cases, we follow the student’s interests and create an individualized program of study.

Are you affiliated with any movement?

No. Gateways is not affiliated with any movement, and we welcome families from all branches of Judaism.

Will you help coordinate with my synagogue and clergy?

Yes. We work with clergy and other synagogue staff involved in b’nei mitzvah preparation to help create and implement a plan for a successful Bar/Bat Mitzvah preparation experience. We often meet with clergy and parents several times throughout this process, and stay in touch with the synagogue staff to ensure that everybody is on the same page. We additionally offer a learning cohort for clergy and education directors. Cohort participants begin by taking a three-hour class focused on planning for inclusive b’nei mitzvah. Participating clergy and directors then receive individualized coaching.

Will you help my child rehearse?

Yes. During each week’s class, children practice leading the service in front of their peers. A Gateways staff member will also help coordinate and attend rehearsals with clergy in a student’s home synagogue.

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Can my child attend both the Gateways Sunday TAGG Program and the B’nei Mitzvah class?

Yes! We have many students who attend the Sunday TAGG Program to learn about holidays, mitzvot, and Jewish traditions and then also attend the Wednesday class to prepare for their bar/bat mitzvah.

Can my child attend Sunday school at my home synagogue in addition to participating in the Gateways B’nei Mitzvah class?

Yes. We have students who attend both Gateways and a class in their home synagogue. Gateways is happy to work with the home synagogue staff to help coordinate expectations.

I’m afraid of losing my connection with my synagogue by having my child come to Gateways. What can we do?

Gateways agrees that maintaining a connection with a synagogue is important. We work with clergy and education directors to help coordinate learning and continued participation in synagogue events, including b’nei mitzvah. We also encourage families to attend services and other events at their synagogue in order to remain an active part of the synagogue community.

We’re not members of a synagogue. What should we do?

If you are interested in joining a synagogue, Gateways staff can suggest temples in your area that may be a good fit for your family. We can also connect you to Gateways families who attend different synagogues.
If you do not wish to join a synagogue, Gateways can help you find clergy who work privately and will create a personalized bar/bat mitzvah service for you and your child.

What kind of communications and progress reports should I expect from you?

Tutors will touch base with parents/caregivers each week during pick-up to discuss the child’s progress in class that day. After each class, the B’nei Mitzvah teacher will also email home a summary of the material that was covered in class. In June, Gateways mails a written report documenting the child’s progress over the course of the year.

Is there homework?

For a student to make progress in our program, it is vital for them and their families to regularly review the materials children learn in class. We encourage all our students to review their Hebrew and practice their prayers and Torah at least three times a week for 20 minutes. We provide parents with homework schedules and detailed directions about how to review our materials, so they feel empowered to help their children at home.

What are your tutors’ qualifications?

Our tutors come from a wide variety of backgrounds, and have included teachers, clergy, librarians, lawyers, businesspeople, retirees, students, and more! What all these tutors have in common is a love of Judaism and a passion for working with children of all abilities. The B’nei Mitzvah Coordinator, behavioral specialist, and Gateways Jewish Education Programs Director provide training and ongoing support to all tutors.

Do you offer tutoring over the summer?

Yes. Often students will work with us over the summer to prevent “summer slide” by reviewing the skills that they have been learning during the year. Summer tutoring sessions are each 45 minutes in length and can be arranged at times that are convenient for both the family and tutor. Some students attend every week over the summer, while others meet with tutors only once or twice. We will be in touch with families in the spring to determine what summer arrangements will work best for you and your child.

Can a Gateways tutor come to my house and work with my child?

No. Unfortunately, Gateways cannot be responsible for tutoring that is done outside of our facilities, class times, and structured summer tutoring sessions.

What is your policy on restraint and seclusion?

Gateways employees and volunteers will make reasonable efforts to implement a range of strategies including but not limited to the least-restrictive-to-most-effective approach, to promote a child’s safety while participating in programming, and to preserve the safety, security, and dignity of all Gateways participants, volunteers, and staff. In accordance with applicable Massachusetts regulations (603 CMR 46.03), physical restraint shall be used only in emergency situations of last resort, after other lawful and less intrusive alternatives have failed or been deemed inappropriate, and with extreme caution. To read our entire policy on prompting and behavior management, please click here.

We can’t come to Gateways. Can you recommend a tutor we could hire?

Although we cannot recommend specific tutors, we are always happy to talk with families about how you can approach your search. We can also help you generate appropriate questions and discuss any concerns you may have.

Why does the B’nei Mitzvah Program cost more than the Sunday Program?

The cost of the B’nei Mitzvah Program reflects the extra hours Gateways staff spend on each student outside of school hours. Staff create individualized materials for each student as they prepare to become b’nei mitzvah. Additionally, throughout the process of becoming a bar or bat mitzvah, Gateways staff meet multiple times with clergy and families to coordinate and help plan the service and accommodations that may be needed. Gateways staff also attends students’ b’nei mitzvah rehearsals as needed.

To learn more about our B’nei Mitzvah Preparation Program and/or to meet with us, you can reach out at .